44th Anniversary of Sobriety: A Journey of Transformation

Anniversaries are both promising and yet can be provocative. Some folks celebrate or feel sad, uncomfortable or keen to share. This one is the 44th anniversary of my sobriety, come the 10th of February. Yes, I`m an alcoholic. I don’t shout about it too much, but equally, there`s no secret in it.

So all those years ago, as my life, relationships, work, and demeanour slid towards a very bad destination, I felt I`d reached a crunch time. Somehow knew I needed to change, dramatically, decisively, and pretty fast too. Oh, I`d made a few attempts previously to kick the habit, but each time I failed, I slid back. Perhaps I said, just one would not harm. Or how can I be a bit sociable if I'm the odd one out? I was even mocked on one occasion by someone who told me I was just weak if I couldn’t hold my drink.

So then, forty-four years ago, I sort of hit a brick wall. That day in particular, I said to myself, I needed help because the experience of doing it myself had been a flop. So I got out the Yellow Pages, as it was then known, found a phone number in Edinburgh for Alcoholics Anonymous, plucked up the courage, took a deep breath, and dialled. A very understanding voice answered. We chatted briefly, and my qualms ebbed a bit. I was advised when and where I could go that very evening, and a particular person would welcome me at the door before quietly taking me into the group.

There, I sat, listened a lot, humbled, and told myself I was no different than all the other people in that room. I listened a lot and determined I`d come back again, knowing that there would be no such deception as social drinking in the future. So I attended quite a few meetings, got the confidence to speak, listened to so many more stories, and finally admitted, that I am an alcoholic.

So here I am forty-four years later, still humble with alcohol, still sober, and a multitude of good things in life, that simply would not, could not have happened, have now flourished into a rich fulfilment. I’ve lost nothing in sobriety; I gained everything.

But to leave it here would be to miss an opportunity. What about those who are directly affected by the scourge of alcohol and whose lives are in turmoil today? I hope they will discover that humility, a willingness to embrace change, and an openness to really hear what others in the same boat are saying. There may be no magic wand or quick fix, but as I have discovered, there is hope; help may be found. The very first step though is an inner personal recognition of being dependent on alcohol and having the motivation to confront it. Only then, can the path towards a new life free of that scourge be travelled. From my hard-won experience, there can be no compromise; absolute sobriety. It works.

Some will think such drastic action unnecessary and pitch their trust in some kind of tenuous middle ground. All I can say is that it is most likely to fail, such is the cunning of that demon thing called alcohol. Freedom and the full life that goes with it, lie in sobriety alone for the alcoholic. Yes, found true hope in that.